Usually I don’t re-post my guest post but I wrote this post awhile ago for A Reflective Student and in reading some of your posts I have noticed something.
I have noticed that a lot of people are struggling with their negative attitudes which also seems to affect their self-esteem.
When I was younger, I had the worst self-esteem ever (I know, I know, a politically incorrect statement but it was pretty bad) and I’m not even talking about my teenage years!
Being black had been one of my biggest insecurities because I was only one of a few where I lived and no one told me that my differences were beautiful. Along with that, I have a history of friends leaving me for no obviously good reason; in fact, I even had some leave because I changed my hair style!
Although there are several other insecurities, I say these in particular because they (along with the divorce of my parents) are the situations that I allowed to negatively impact my life and the way I feel and look at myself.
I became tired of the life of not trusting anyone and realized that trusting people are part of my journey to success, so, I began researching and implementing these practices into my life in order to become a more positive person.
Likewise, I hope that what I am about to share with you will be as helpful to you as it was to me!
1. Look Back on the Past but ONLY to Learn From it:
Some people avoid the past while others dwell on it. Personally, I am a dweller who hangs onto the past, however, neither is beneficial.
In his book Your Roadmap for Success, John Maxwell quotes former UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden, who says that “things turn out the best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.”
Spend some time reflecting on your past with both the bad and the good. Also, don’t neglect to forgive whomever you need to forgive and to solve your grievances.
2. Determine Where you are now and Work From There- NOT Where you Want to be:
It’s important to look at yourself honestly so that you have a starting point for your journey towards success.
Here are some things to look at:
- Your current strengths and weaknesses
- Where you would like to go
- What you would like to see happen in the future
3. At the Beginning of Each day, Uncover at Least one Thing That Excites you About That Particular Day:
What I mean by this is to find on thing (that will occur within that day) that makes you ecstatic to go through the day. You may find
that the once long and hard days suddenly become shorter and a lot more fun!
4. Do Something Nice for Others:
On paper (or post) this really doesn’t seem logical, yet, it’s true!
Whether it be time, money, or possessions, when you give something to someone else, it usually ends up making you happy; sometimes even more than the person who received it!
So, give! It could be the difference between a dull and exhilarating day.
5. Depend on God:
Now, I know that this is a sensitive topic for some of you but (as some of you may know) God is a huge part of my life and I can’t pretend that I have come as far as I have without him.
Think the Bible preaches a bunch of magical bologna? Read the book of Ecclesiastes. When I wasn’t so deep in my faith, this short book encouraged me to keep reading, believing, and growing.
6. Deliberately Engage in Actions That you Know Will Make you Feel Better About the day:
And no, I’m not talking about harmful activities!
Doing something that you know will set your day on a high note at the beginning of the day will play a big part in how you act and feel throughout the day.
Notice that I didn’t say to do something that you enjoy.
What I try to do every morning is to exercise. Now, I don’t necessarily look forward to this time but I know that it will make me feel better about myself. I also read my Bible but that is something that I usually enjoy 🙂 .
7. Keep Growing and Improving:
Always be learning and improving upon yourself. This can also build lots of self-confidence because I have noticed that we find confidence in knowing the answers (or at least part of it).
Also, you know that saying “garbage in, garbage out?” Well, the same is true vice versa; if you put not only positive but things/ideas
that challenge you in a way that makes you grow as a person, then that is what will come out and show in you.
I recommend reading John Maxwell’s books Thinking for a Change: 11 Ways Highly Successful People Approach Life and Work and Your Roadmap for Success.
Once again, here are some of my tips to live a more positive and confident life which also includes a bonus tip!
- Look back on the past but only to learn from it
- Determine where you are and work from there
- At the beginning of each day, uncover at least one thing that you are exciting to experience that day
- Do something nice for someone else
- Depend on God
- Deliberately engage in actions that you know will make you feel better about the day
- Keep growing and improving upon yourself
BONUS: Make time each day to reflect on your life without distractions- you may be surprised at what you discover.
So know it’s your turn! Make a plan on how you will use each of these things in order to develop a more positive and confident you.
You can keep it to yourself or if you are feeling adventurous, leave them below in the comments!